


Still Not Better [HIATUS]

by JayCrown



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse of Anti-Depressants, Dark ass themes, Depression, Hiatus, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Peter Needs a Hug, Peter deserves all those hugs, Pills, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, btw theres no beta which means u have to suffer through my grammar and spelling mistakes, sloths move faster than me updating this fic tbh, the prologue sucks trust me, very slow updates, woops it seems that i have written an angsty fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13476123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayCrown/pseuds/JayCrown
Summary: He's supposed to be better now. But he isn't.He thought he would finally stop after Spiderman appeared. He thought it would help him to getting better.But it was only a distraction.[On hiatus due to the author not being interested in the fandom as much anymore]





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
> .
> 
> .
> 
> Normal day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATED at April 18 2018
> 
> TW: Self harm.

**PETER**

He looked down at the sink, horrid thoughts filling his mind again. He grabs something. It was sharp.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_Four_

_Five_

_Six_

_..Seven_

He drops the item in the sink. Disgusting. He felt disgusted by himself.

.

There's too much blood. He turns the shower on and started to strip. He needed to get the blood out.

.

.

He didn't know how long he was in the shower. But he didn't care, he was filthy. He looked down at his arms, it had stopped bleeding due to his healing factor.

He promised Aunt May years ago that he would stop. He promised Aunt May he would get better.

but he didn't.

He felt guilt eating him up as he continued to ponder in the shower.

.

.

.

He was finally out of the shower, his hair is dripping wet. He had already bandages his arms. Looking to the mirror, he didn't see a hero, he didn't see Spider-Man. All he saw was a boy. Peter Parker.

Snapping out of it. He reached out to his bag that was thrown to the side and pulled out a familiar orange bottle.


	2. (Re-Written)Chapter One: Happiness In A Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day in school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might update more in Wattpad because sometimes AO3 is down, so yeah! The username is the same.
> 
> {UPDATED - April 18 2018}

**Chapter One: Happiness In A Bottle**   


\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

He took the lid off then took out three pills and swallowed them dryly. Closing it, he shoves it somewhere deep in his backpack.

.

.

.

He was walking at the school hallway, looking down and thinking. His phone dings.

_Ned: Sorry peter, my mom was sick so i had to take care of her :/_

It was Ned, his best friend. He texts back.

 _Aww man :( tell her get well for me!_  

read.

"Penis Parker!"

Fuck.

.

.

Finally. It was lunch. The cafeteria was loud as ever, giving Peter a headache. He was sitting alone, pondering. What a loser.

Ringing. His phone was ringing.

Snapping back to reality, he quickly took his phone out to see who was calling..

Aunt May.

He went to a vacant bathroom and answered the call.

"Hello? Aunt May?"

"Peter! Thank goodness you're okay.." mumbling out the last sentence, but it was no use since Peter has super hearing.

"Is something wrong Aunt May?" He starts to fidget.

"I'm fine Peter, i'm fine..i'll pick you up early, okay?"

"But Aunt May, why?"

"I'll..i'll tell you once i pick you up, Peter."

"O-okay. Love you, bye"

"I love you too, Peter"

**\- Call Ended -**

as if on cue, the bell rang.

He puts his phone away and walks to a sink.

He looked at himself in the mirror. Thoughts starting to form in his mind. Trying to shake the familiar dark thoughts away, he splashed water on his face.

.

.

.

Aunt May was driving while Peter was on the passenger side staring at the window.

It's raining. The radio was off, the atmosphere almost choking Peter.

Soon, almost too soon, they arrived home. The atmosphere was thicker. They both sat down at the couch.

"Peter.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rewrite of the first chapter because i hated the first one.
> 
> Sorry it's shitty, i'm not much of a good writer!
> 
> Also..i'm really shitty at potraying characters so if they're all very OOC then now you know.
> 
> Found a grammar/spelling mistake? Please message me! Thanks!
> 
> Constructive critism is very much needed!


	3. Chapter Two: Therapeutic Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drip..drip..drip..
> 
> It was raining now, the rain calmed his senses, the rain calmed him. Soon, he lets his senses take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated! Thanks to someone (LongCoast525) for commenting! I appreciate it! I don't ask for much but to comment please! Thank you!
> 
> {UPDATED - April 18 2018}

**Chapter Two: Theraputic Rain**

\----------------------------------

The next moment was a blur. All he remembers was Aunt May's comforting yet sad look and then he remembers himself sobbing on the ground, having an attack.

He's staring through the window, looking at the rain. He was holding something warm. It was a cup of tea Aunt May made.

The sound of the rain is comforting. Aunt May is on the phone, talking to someone. Maybe even having a bit of an arguement. It was kinda loud.

But the rain is there to comfort his senses. So he kept staring and listening to the rain.

.

.

He stared at his phone for a few more minutes, spacing out.

_Happy: I'll pick you up at 6pm. Tony said it's about suit upgrades._

He turns off his phone and looked at his bedroom window as he pondered for a moment whether or not he should reply or not. He chose to reply so he won't worry Happy and Tony.

_kinda feeling under the weather and it's raining! Sorry :((_

Before he could even say Mr.Stark, Happy already replied back.

_Happy: Okay, Tony wants you next week Monday after school. Feel better, Peter._

Smiling at the last part, he sent a quick "Okay" and an threw in a smiley face to add to the effect. Sighing, he turns off his phone and lays it down somewhere as his eyes slowly focuses to his bedroom window.

He watched as the rain pours down, it wasn't really pouring that much but since he had enhanced, he was able to hear it more. He feels his eyes start to get heavy every minute passes. Soon, he falls asleep, only listening to the rain.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it! Sorry if it was short, i'll try to update more now! 
> 
> If you found any grammar/spelling mistakes, please tell me! Thank you!


	4. Chapter Three: Broken Cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say. Broken cups are usually a sign for bad luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a trigger warning when the thing starts so beware!

**Chapter Three: Broken Cup**

\----------------------------------  
.

.

.

It was Monday, the day everyone hates.

It was also the day Happy's going to pick him up since last week. God, was he anxious.

Maybe he'll stay home today, maybe then Mr.Stark and Happy won't see him like this. But that would make them suspicious. Damn it.

He just came back from patrol, it was currently 5:26. Stripping out of his suit. He puts on a pale red button up shirt and puts a lose blue sweater over it, then grabs a pair of pants.

** 5:33 **

He shoves the suit in his backpack then takes out a familiar orange bottle.

.

** 5:46 **

By now, he's just waiting. His homework shuffles under his hands as he stands up. "Tea.."

He walks over to the kitchen and prepares the kettle and tea.

.

** 5:57 **

He's done picking up the broken teacup. He's calming down from a recent anxiety attack. Ping! He looks at his phone. It's Happy.

_Happy: kid, i'm down already._

_Fuck._ Quickly fixing himself up - he probably looked like a mess - , he grabs his bag from his room and proceeded to go down.

"Hey Happy!" He tries to sound cheery as possible - which was hard since he just recovered from an anxiety attack - Happy replied back with a "Hey kid"

** 5:59 **

.

** 6:10 **

They arrived at the tower. Apparently they were just moving most of the important things upstate since the tower keeps getting attacked. (Considering it was pretty tall and had a huge "A" on it.)

Happy had given him a navy blue badge. He assumed it was like an ID card, but a badge.

He entered the elevator and-- "What floor would you like to go, Mr.Parker?" He jumps a few feet in the air. "Holy sh..crap, FRIDAY, don't scare me like that.." He said as he tried to calm his elevated heart down. "I apologise, sir." "It's, it's fine..and uh, whatever floor, Mr.Stark is in."

The elevator starts shifting up, his heart rate going down. Ding. The elevator door opens to a living room.

"Hey, underoos!" A familiar voice calls out. His head snaps up. "H-hey Mr.Stark!" He greeted, even so stuttering. Tony was sitting on a bar stool, his elbows resting ontop of the kitchen table. Surprisingly there was no drink in hand, just a couple of tools and papers scattered around.

He steps out of the elevator, both hands gripping his bag straps. "You okay there, kid?" He asks. Peter, being the nervous trainwreck he is, he nodded quickly before throwing his bag on the couch. Tony lifts an eyebrow before going back to the papers.

"So,, what's the new update?" He asked before babbling out other words. _SSSKKKKKEEEETCCCH_. The bar stool screeched when it was dragged over. Both of them winces, Tony mumbles "i need a new bar stool.." while Peter uttered an apology.

.

.

** 7:32 **

It has been 1 hour and 11 minutes since they started with the upgrades and tinkering. They were starting to clean up since it was a literal mess inside the lab, tools and items thrown in some corner and other places. Peter even found a screwdriver (he saw it in the corner of his eye because it was reflecting) hanging off an AC vent. How odd.

Peter was feeling antsy, to say the least. God, he can't wait to put on his suit and escape Peter Parker's world for a while.

**_ -TRIGGER WARNING- _ **

______________

_"Hey, einstine, i wanna show you something." A hand snakes around his back, slowly dropping to his waist._

_______________

His hand grips the handle of the current tool he's holding.  
_______________

_"Sit here." The man says as he pats a place on a couch. "I've got something for you.." He said, while rummaging through a small closet-shelf._

_______________

He gulps down a sick bile, earning a worried glance from Tony.

"Kid?" Said Tony as he puts a hand on the boy's knee. He's dizzy. His vision turns white.

_______________

_"Why don't we do what the people do on the magazine?..." He trails off. "..We'll make our own experiment." The man rests his hand on the young boy's thigh near his crotch._

_  
...._

_  
..._

_  
"..Skip?"_

______________

**_ -TRIGGER WARNING HAS ENDED - _ **

"KID!" Tony calls out before the boy collapses, heaving. "FRIDAY, tell me his stats." He quickly commanded. "His heart rate is 150. He seems to be experiencing a panic attack, sir." Her voice replied. "No shit." He grunted.

Peter's eyes look up, frantically searching for things.

_Chairs..pliers..screwdriver..bolts..papers_ He thought. _Sweat..something burnt..._ His mind continues on, _5...4...3..2...1._ Tony soon speaks up "Kid..Peter, match my breathing" surprisingly, he gets Peter's attention and tries to do what he was told.

"It's adviced to atleast let it pass now, sir." FRIDAY's voice chimes in.

.

  
** 7:45 **

The panic attack lasted for 15 minutes.

The corner of Peter's eyes tears up and the next thing he knew, he was curled up again. His knees pulled up to his chest as he buries his head between them, he sobs. His whole body shivering. "i'm sorry i'm sorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry" He croaked out as he repeated the same words over and over again.

**"Mr.Stark probably is embarrased at you by now.  
Mr.Stark is probably dissapointed he found out how weak and pathetic you are.  
Mr.Stark doesn't really care, does he? You're just wasting his time again.  
You can't do anything right, can you? Triggered by a hand on your thigh. Hell, it wasn't even on your thigh! It was on your knee. You pathetic piece of shit.  
Mr.Stark is dissapointed. Dissapointed. Dissapointed. Dissapointed. Dissapointed.   
Just give him back the damn suit, you aren't even worth of it. To think of it, you aren't even worth ANYTHING." **The voices continue. They always do.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up. It was Tony, he wasn't really surprised since they were both the only ones there. The man gave him a worried yet comforting look.

He sniffled and tackles Tony into a hug before continuing to sob on his chest. The older man didn't hesitate, hugging the younger boy back.

.......

.....

..

.

  
**P E T E R**

Tuesday...A day after Peter's panic attack in Tony's lab. They haven't spoken to each other since then, it was tearing Peter apart.

He hated it. He hated the silence. It was just like the ferris incident. _Did Mr.Stark hate him? Did he thought of him as a weak kid?_ He shakes his head, putting his headphones on before continuing to look out the class window.

.....

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah finally, i updated. I'm not really sure what to feel about this chapter, seems pretty bland. Anyyyyways, i hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> This story first published in my wattpad account!: AngelJadePlayz
> 
> I also have a Tumblr: angel-jade-draws
> 
> aaand discord! You can send me an ask on tumblr about it or just comment


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